I first contacted Lynn when I was 35 weeks pregnant. There were 4 things that I felt very strongly about – I wanted a home delivery, I did not want an episiotomy or any medical intervention and I wanted to remain as in control of my labour and baby’s delivery as possible. The home delivery was being put into question by lack of staffing for the Christmas period (baby due on 25th December) and a Hb that had fallen to 10.9 at 28 weeks from 11.8 (a normal physiological change in pregnancy due to heamodilution but it was still being used as a threat, and at 34 weeks it naturally returned to 11.2). Mostly I needed to know the midwife who would be in our home overseeing our baby’s birth.

I found Lynn’s details through the independent midwives website and called her to arrange an initial visit. Both my husband and myself liked Lynn instantly and I liked her approach to labour and delivery. Although I only had a few weeks with Lynn before my due date, my antenatal checks took place in my own home, where I felt most relaxed. As they lasted for at least 1 hour, I felt that we had time to get to know one another quite well before the baby did arrive. As each visit came and went I began to feel more and more at ease about the delivery and my confidence began to increase as we discussed my hopes, fears and expectations.

3 weeks before the due date we ordered a birthing pool, which was to be delivered on 17th December, giving us time to take it on a trial run before the big day (or so we thought). Our baby had other plans! On 16th December at 2am I woke with a stomach ache, which I assumed was caused by wind. I got out of bed and visited the bathroom for yet another wee – nothing uncommon. When I got back into bed it began to dawn on me that the spasmodic wind pain was coming and going with a surprising regularity, approximately every 10 minutes or so – I couldn’t believe they were contractions already. I woke Neale and asked him to time them for me – but it was difficult to keep him awake – which may seem a little odd, but we were both convinced that this was a false alarm and that things would die down pretty soon.

At 2.30am I decided to find a more comfortable position, so walked around the house ending up once again in the bathroom. A small room, this seemed safe and secure and I stayed there throughout my labour, which was good for me, but it never entered my head that nobody else would be able to use the only toilet that we had in the house!

As I sat there in the quiet of the early morning I was still convinced that my labour was going to stop – this really did not seem to be at all as painful as I had imagined so I convinced myself that it couldn’t be the real thing. I used the time of quiet and solitude to practice breathing through each contraction. I found that I could count through each contraction slowly with each breath in and out, keeping it slow and even. When I had done this a few times I knew the point that was the height of the contraction and could look forward to it building up, reaching the peak and fading away with some certainty.

At 6.30am I decided that I was lonely with only my unborn baby for company and decided to raise Neale from his sleep. We were still convinced that this was going to be a false alarm – no hysterics, no screams for pain relief (I am a bit of a coward when it comes to pain). At 7.00am we decided to call Lynn, as it was a Monday morning, the traffic would be bad and I seemed to be contracting every 3 minutes. At 8.15am Lynn arrived and I still felt that things were going very well, although I had begun to be sick. I was well, the baby sounded settled and happy and everything still seemed more calm than I had imagined. I sat in the bath where I felt comfortable – Neale called to cancel the delivery of the birthing pool and Lynn remained nearby (sitting at the top of the stairs) and supportive but inconspicuous and not at all obtrusive. She was a comforting presence, but seemed to leave me to continue doing what nature dictated and Neale remained a constant support.

At approx 2pm I felt the urge to push with my contractions. I pushed, and pushed and pushed. Finally Lynn suggested I feel for my baby’s head, which was now well descended but still not visible. I loved the fact that the first touch my baby felt was my own – something I will remember and cherish forever. I pushed some more, and some more – still no head delivered. Finally at 6pm after approx 4 hours of pushing we discussed the possibility of needing a bit of help to get my baby past my rather prominent coccyx. I had been so scared of the possibility that I would need medical help, but now it seemed to be the most sensible option. My baby was still happy – no sign of distress, but I was tired now (I had hardly managed to eat a thing as I continued to be sick throughout the labour) and I was so desperate to meet my baby.

Lynn called the hospital and arranged an ambulance. She accompanied me to the hospital in the ambulance – Neale followed in our car after hastily packing a few baby clothes in a bag and picking up the car seat. We had not anticipated a trip to the hospital and so had nothing prepared.

7pm we arrived and went straight for assessment. I was nervous about going to the hospital, but having Lynn continue her support during this time calmed both Neale and myself. The medical help that I had was fantastic and Lynn stayed with me to continue my care. Everything was explained in detail, my baby was just there ready to be born, but appeared wedged by the coccyx. A ventouse delivery was suggested. The most uncomfortable part of my labour was having the ventous cap fitted to my baby’s head, but this was done as swiftly and sensitively as possible. Two contractions - I pushed and the doctor pulled and that was it, I felt the whole of my baby’s head for the first time. One more push and pull and I had a beautiful baby girl to hold. Never before had I seen such a beautiful baby, she was warm, soft, pink and warm, soft (……… you get the picture). I fell instantly in love with her. We both welcomed her.

I had had an episiotomy – didn’t feel a thing due to very good preparation by the doctor beforehand – a puedendal block had been performed. I was stitched straight away and didn’t feel a thing. The stitches were incredibly well done and I had very little discomfort afterwards as I healed. The doctor suggested that I stay in for observation due to having had a ventouse and a long labour, both of which can increase the possibility of bleeding. I discussed this with Lynn and we both decided that this wouldn’t be necessary as I would keep a very close eye on my blood loss and I lived very near to the hospital should the bleeding concern me. Lynn came back to our home to ensure that we settled in well, staying until 1.30am and returned back early the next morning.

We called our baby Asha (Sanskrit for Hope). She weighed in at 7lb 15oz, fed very well soon after delivery and, after an initial sleepy 24 hours where she fed little; she continued to feed very well thereafter.

Although I ended up not having my home delivery, I had an episiotomy and I had medical intervention I felt, and still do feel, incredibly positive about my labour and delivery. I wanted to remain as in control of my labour and baby’s delivery as possible and with Lynn’s help and support and gentle guidance I did. Being cared for by Lynn made myself and Neale feel confident and empowered and completely satisfied with our experience of becoming parents.